Dutch Revolt
The Dutch aren’t know for being a courageous people. In fact, it isn’t uncommon for Americans to refer to alcohol as “Dutch Courage” – 
implying that the only time the Dutch are courageous is when they’re hammered.
But the truth is that the Dutch are simply a practical people. The Dutch freely gave New Amsterdam to the English not because they didn’t dare fight, but because New Amsterdam was run by an evil corporation which treated the settlers on Manhattan Island very poorly. The English guaranteed the Dutch that they could continue to live as they had before, without loss of status or possessions. It was much more sensible to maintain the status quo than to die fighting for a company that had no respect for their lives in the first place. The English honored their commitment and the Dutch continue to have a strong presence in New York City today. (The term Yankee is based on the Dutch name, “Jan Kees.” Even the American word “boss” comes from the Dutch word “baas”.)
The point is that we’re not likely to get into a fight when it doesn’t make sense. But we can fight like Bruce Lee on eight shots of espresso if we have to, and that is exactly what we did when Spanish invaded the lowlands in 1568.
I’m sure some of my history is a bit off here, but I’m not about to do any real research and get this 100% right when going from memory will get me about 80% of the way there.
The Spanish were a major world power during the 1500′s and routinely invaded other countries. Compare Sixteenth Century Spain to a modern-day United States, if you will. The Dutch rose up and fought them for 80 years. And I’m pretty sure they weren’t drinking.
During the occupation, the Spanish Duke of Alva was Governor General in the Netherlands. The areas he controlled were densely populated lowlands, protected from flooding by dikes and windmills. (Few people realize that the reason the Netherlands have so many windmills is because they ran the pumps that kept the lowlands dry, as much of the Netherlands lie 10 meters below sea level.) He controlled by force and laid siege on any city which resisted his rule.
One of the major cities in this region is Leiden, which happens to be my parent’s home town. Leiden resisted Alva’s rule, and Alva besieged it in October 1573. It was a difficult city to besiege as the city defense works were very strong (and still stand today) and the soil around the city was very poor and difficult encamp. The leader of the Dutch rebels, William the Silent, tried to help Leiden by sending an army to help. Alva halted the siege in April 1574 to defeat the army of Orange in nearby Mookerheyde before returning in June to continue the siege. The city thought of surrendering because the defeat of their army meant there was nearly no chance of relief, but held on because they knew that the Spanish would kill them all to set an example, as had happened during earlier sieges of Naarden and Haarlem. Thousands of inhabitants died of starvation as a result.
But in September 1574, the Dutch decided to cut the dikes in the south to let the seawater in and flood out the Spanish. As it happened, due to a paucity of storms, it took months before the water rose high enough to lift the siege. On 2 and 3 October, the storms finally came and flooded the lowlands. The floods caught the Spanish by surprise and they lifted the siege and retreated.
The city was on the verge of collapse due to starvation. According to legend, an orphan boy named Cornelis Joppenszoon crept out into the flood plains in search of food after the Spanish left. He found a pot of Hutspot which had been left behind.
October 3 is celebrated every year in Leiden by eating Hutspot. It isn’t known exactly what ingredients were in the Hutspot found by Cornelis, but the typical recipe is to boil equal parts potato, carrots, and onions and mash them up with butter and serve it with sausage. This year, we celebrated a few days early and had our friends over to, as Michelle put it, “all be Dutch for an evening.” Keep dreaming. We had a great time and all pitched in to put a bit of a modern twist on the traditional recipe. Jess graciously made the recipe available on Hogwash.
my handle on both Dutch and English is weaker than native speakers. Not only is my Dutch vocabulary a snapshot of 1970′s pop culture when my parents immigrated, but my English is full of expressions translated directly from Dutch – expressions which I think make perfect sense but make American’s look at me like I have two heads. Things like “from thick wood one saws many planks”.
Bakfiets. Get rid of that gas-guzzling SUV. This baby will carry anything you need. In fact, get rid of your bathroom, too, because you can fill this bad-boy up with water and take a bath. Check out the kickstand on this thing. You can also use it to give people rides home from the bar. It’s literal translation is “tub bike”. I can’t wait to test drive one of these babies and check out how she corners. Plus, it has a headlight.
Kruisframe. You may think that means “cruise frame”. That’s not a bad guess, because I’m sure you can seriously cruise on this honker. It’s actual meaning is “cross frame”. I think the extra crosses are to make it heavier to justify the motorcycle kickstand on it. It’s not nearly as versatile as the Bakfiets, but this baby is designed to go uphill fast. They outlawed them in the Tour de France because the Dutchies were kicking too much ass.
Oma. Means “grandma”. There’s a model for dudes called the Opa which – not surprisingly – means “grandpa”. Don’t let the name fool you. This sucker is made for quick getaways. Most of the Dutch Mafia uses these suckers for hits. The saddle is spring-loaded for ejecting into lethal Dutchfu maneuvers.
trip to the United States and were wondering if, hypothetically, we would be “willing” to have them and Oom Max’s sister stay with us a few days in August. Michelle and I are very fond of them – Tante Doortje and Oom Max – and were delighted at the idea of having them stay with us.
each chair in the house which indicated whose seat it was. For example, I would have a pillow labeled “Frank” on my favorite chair.
