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Duke vs. Carolina

February 7, 2008 · Filed under Entertainment, North Carolina

Michelle and I don’t really follow any “team sports”; we follow “spandex sports” like cycling, Nordic skiing, and alpine skiing. I don’t think it has anything to do with any particular love of spandex; it’s just a coincidence.

That said, we have a dirty little secret: we love college basketball. Anyone who follows that sport will know about the rivalry between Duke and North Carolina, and that the rivalry cannot be classified as “friendly”. After having lived in the Chapel Hill area, you simply can’t help but get swept up in it.

As with everything else in life, one has to choose a side. Michelle worked in Durham, so she swayed towards Duke. My choice to support Carolina was a little more complicated.

Back in 1992, Sidi came out with the Genius II cycling shoe. Up until then, cycling shoes were black and boring. The only “exciting” thing you could get from a cycling shoe was a set of velcro straps – if you could afford it. But the Genius II not only had a ratchet, but were also royal blue. They were awesome, and I fell in love with that color.

Carolina Blue just so happens to be pretty close to that particular shade of blue, so I had no choice but to choose their side. It also isn’t the first time this color has pulled me into a lifelong love affair: when I first met Michelle, she owned a freshly remastered copy of the Star Wars trilogy. As if that wasn’t enough to make me fall for her, she also owned a pair of those royal blue Sidi Genius II’s. I was a puddle on the floor.

I have to say, though, that one of the highlights of living with a Duke fan is that it’s the only time of year that I get to watch Michelle jump to her feet, shake her fist at the television, and scream, “SINK IT, BITCH!!”

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Damn Yankees

June 8, 2007 · Filed under North Carolina

While I was living in the South, a friend of mine kept reminding me of the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee. The difference, apparently, is that a Yankee is a Northerner who comes to the South, while a Damn Yankee is a Northerner who comes to the South and stays there. (Do I need to remind you where the name Yankee came from, by the way?)

Well, when we were moving out of the South, we were faced with sheer disbelief, from everyone. People would say things like, “Hope you like rain” or “People move too damn fast up there” or “Seattle has the country’s highest suicide rate.” (Not true, by the way – the suicide rate in North Carolina is the same as Washington. Must also note this: Michelle and I would routinely have people on the street call out to us, “Hey, slow down…where you walkin’ to in such a hurry?”)

This leads me to figure the following: Yankees are Northerners who come to the South. Damn Yankees are Northerners who stay in the South. Fookin’ Yankees are the ones who had the nerve to leave.

And, because I can’t resist:

What are a Southerner’s final words?

“Hold my beer, watch this.”

And, you can shop for all your Confederate needs here.

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Southern Charm

June 4, 2007 · Filed under North Carolina

I lived in Charlotte, North Carolina for about 6 months in what was quite a nice apartment in “uptown” Charlotte. It’s really “downtown” Charlotte, but everyone refers to it as “uptown”. This was the city planner’s ingenious solution to the nasty prostitution and drug problem that existed in Charlotte: rename “downtown” to “uptown” and it will become trendy and popular. Note to the city planners: “Uptown” Charlotte might become more “trendy” and “popular” when it grows to be more than 4 city blocks, has even a modicum of shopping, and has commercial venues that are open on the weekends.

Moving on.

I had the great misfortune to be on contract at a bank in the center of downtown Charlotte. My morning and afternoon walk to and from the office led me by a small day care center which had an outdoor playground. Now, Charlotte (and much of North Carolina) has a tendency to be too hot for any activity to be conducted outdoors safely – especially for children – so this playground was almost always deserted.

One afternoon, however, as I was nearing the playground, I heard children’s laughter rising above the noise of the city. As I made my way nearer the playground I could start to make out the various games and activities that the kids were engaging in. There was no child among them who was over 3 years old, all chattering excitedly in their teeny little voices.

Finally, I noticed a line of kids leading up to the big slide near the center of the playground. I thought to myself, “Wow, kids can be so sweet. They’re all patiently waiting for their turn to go down the slide.” I had hardly completed my thought when one of the kids went too soon after the kid before him, and ran into him on the way down. The victim, in his tiny little voice, yelled at the top of his lungs, “OW!! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!”

So much for Southern Charm.

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Close D

April 25, 2007 · Filed under North Carolina, Photo Album

You gotta love that Southern education. On our way out of Chapel Hill, North Carolina, we came across this home-made closed sign. From the street, it looked like the author had simply run out of space to write on his crappy, poorly painted-over Good Humor sign, but it turned out, upon the requisite closer inspection, that the author had initially written, “Closd”. In a display of clever “outside of the box” thinking, he simply used alcohol (probably some moonshine) to clean off the end of the “D” and change it into an “E”. I imagine the satisfaction in his eyes as he stood back to admire his work before his buddy commented, “Hey, Poodle. That there says ‘CLOSE.’” A couple of swigs of the selfsame moonshine later, a solution was found.