This is absolutely the most terrifying photo I have ever seen. Honestly, who needs horror movies with this guy leading our country? My guess is the slasher industry has experienced a major decline over the last 7 years. I love the satisfied look in his eye. Very Clouseau. (For those of you who care about this kind of thing, I named this particular image “Bushkin”.)  Apparently, there is something more to picking up a pumpkin when you’re the President.

Halloween is a great holiday, not only because I get to play with knives while drinking drinking glow-in-the-dark beer, but also because Michelle’s all-time favorite Halloween song gives me a perfect reason to give her hair a good, solid yank. Why is pulling hair so satisfying? If you haven’t done so in a while, take this opportunity:

HALLOWEE-EE-EEN! The witch is in the sky!

Have you SEE-EE-EEN her shadow flying by?

But be WARE! Don’t you DARE!

To ever BOAST! About a GHOST!

Or she will come and PULL! YOUR! HAIR!

Happy Halloween, everyone!