I believe this is the first bit of advise I ever received: “Nee hep je al, ja kan je nog krijgen”.  Translated in a practical way that doesn’t capture it’s meaning, it means, “You already have a ‘No’, but you can still get a ‘Yes’.”  My grandmother gave that advise to me.  Given that she is Dutch, I’m assuming I didn’t ask for it.  That’s the way the Dutch roll: advise is only worth the inverse proportion of how much it’s asked for.

No matter how you spin it, it all comes down to this: Dutch people are always right.  Seriously.  It’s a little freaky.

I’ve been working on a collaborative software development effort between a team in Seattle, WA and Bangalore, India for the last nine months, and – despite our various successes -  we’ve had numerous recurring problems both in the U.S. and in India.

That recurring problem is a lack of communication.  That’s what Oma was trying to tell me all along: if you don’t know how to ask for what you need, you will never be helped.

It’s more pronounced in a dual-shore scenario, but the problem has been there in every project I’ver ever worked on.  In a way it’s funny that communication has been my biggest obstacle in my professional career – it’s funny because Oma has been whispering the answer to me my whole life.

Thanks, Oma.  I get it now.  It only took 32 years, but I got it.  And, by the way, Haap is here with me and is still wearing the green outfit you made for him when I was six.