While I was living in the South, a friend of mine kept reminding me of the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee. The difference, apparently, is that a Yankee is a Northerner who comes to the South, while a Damn Yankee is a Northerner who comes to the South and stays there. (Do I need to remind you where the name Yankee came from, by the way?)

Well, when we were moving out of the South, we were faced with sheer disbelief, from everyone. People would say things like, “Hope you like rain” or “People move too damn fast up there” or “Seattle has the country’s highest suicide rate.” (Not true, by the way – the suicide rate in North Carolina is the same as Washington. Must also note this: Michelle and I would routinely have people on the street call out to us, “Hey, slow down…where you walkin’ to in such a hurry?”)

This leads me to figure the following: Yankees are Northerners who come to the South. Damn Yankees are Northerners who stay in the South. Fookin’ Yankees are the ones who had the nerve to leave.

And, because I can’t resist:

What are a Southerner’s final words?

“Hold my beer, watch this.”

And, you can shop for all your Confederate needs here.